How to Remove a Minister

The following exposure of the devices of certain discontented characters to be found in most Churches, is taken from the "American Presbyterian of the West":—

1. Tell everybody that no minister should stay if any one is opposed to him, as he cannot do any good. This is not a Republican, or Presbyterian doctrine; but keep it before the people.

2. Threaten not to support him if he stays, and guess that a good many others will do more for some other man. True, this is covenant-making, but the end sanctifies the means.

3. Don't be intimidated because your number is small. A very few can raise up Satan in any Church by perseverance. Let it be known that you never intend to give up until the minister is gone. Wear out the saints who are his friends.

4. Tell lies of him, and repeat the lies of others. Perhaps he will have enough of human nature about him to show a little temper and zeal for his reputation. If so, then tell how badly such a spirit seems in a minister. If by lying and worrying a man, you can drive him away and get a better man, will not good come of the evil you have done?

5. If you know any neighbouring preacher who is popular in your church, announce that for his labours, you will double your subscription, and get as many others as you can to promise the same advance, and give it out that there is no doubt but if the people would only speak their minds, such a feeling is general in the congregation.

6. Talk loudly the praises of those who sympathize with you; speak of their good judgment, and their liberality; treat every recruit with continued "horns" of flattery, and they will be valiant to the end of the

7. When you report the census of malcontents, always multiply by two or three; or if not too glaringly false, by a higher number.

8. Get some one who has the confidence of the minister, and whom you have induced to look at the opposition through your magnifying glass, and have a friendly talk with him about the state of things, and advise him for his own sake to give up.

9. Send him a letter, signed by a few, telling him that his usefulness has terminated, that he might do good somewhere else, and that you hope he may; that you could have had many more lines on your paper, if you had asked them.

10. Ask for a letter of dismission to join some neighbouring church. Hold on to it, and propose to come back, if things can only go to suit you.

11. Stay away from the prayer-meeting, and take it as your reason of absence that the minister utterly fails in giving proper interest to the exercises.

12. Try to destroy all interest in the Sabbath-school; keep your children at home, and stay away yourself; and constantly complain that the minister is not doing his duty to the young.

13. Seldom go to church, except when a stranger is to preach; and if you are at any time obliged to hear the old preacher, show that you cannot listen, and try to exhibit such faces and grimaces, as Nathaniel did when be said, "Can any good thing come out of Nazareth?"

What a deplorable condition must a Church be in when such methods can be coolly resorted to, and, it is said, such cases abound in American Churches.